To be filed under more stuff you should know about me. I don’t drink, ever. Take a moment….I know that is a hard one to wrap your brain around. Next question – WHY (dear God how does this woman get through a single day..)??? My standard reply is that my gene pool is a bit polluted (envision Chernobyl) so I don’t want to roll the dice at this stage. I decided a long time ago that I preferred the Merry-Go-Round to the Roller Coaster of life and I am standing by that choice. I often joke that I will go straight to heroin at about age 80 but since that drug has made a rapid and deadly come back, I may have to rethink that one.
Please don’t worry that I am judging your drunk @ss, I swear I am not. I will happily be your designated driver and pay for your booze when we split the tab. I don’t care. My not drinking isn’t about you, honest. Most people don’t trust non-drinkers so I have to work extra hard to win people over and convince them that my sobriety won’t rub off on them. Any idea how hard it is to win over a room of Pinto Grigio sippin’ soccer moms when your tossing back cranberry juice….it’s a bitch people. I have to be extra awesome just to stay on the invite list. Come to think of it I don’t get out much. Fahk.