Polluted Gene Pool

Standard
Polluted Gene Pool

To be filed under more stuff you should know about me.  I don’t drink, ever.  Take a moment….I know that is a hard one to wrap your brain around.  Next question – WHY (dear God how does this woman get through a single day..)??? My standard reply is that my gene pool is a bit polluted (envision Chernobyl) so I don’t want to roll the dice at this stage. I decided a long time ago that I preferred the Merry-Go-Round to the Roller Coaster of life and I am standing by that choice.  I often joke that I will go straight to heroin at about age 80 but since that drug has made a rapid and deadly come back, I may have to rethink that one.

Please don’t worry that I am judging your drunk @ss, I swear I am not.  I will happily be your designated driver and pay for your booze when we split the tab.  I don’t care. My not drinking isn’t about you, honest. Most people don’t trust non-drinkers so I have to work extra hard to win people over and convince them that my sobriety won’t rub off on them.  Any idea how hard it is to win over a room of Pinto Grigio sippin’ soccer moms when your tossing back cranberry juice….it’s a bitch people.  I have to be extra awesome just to stay on the invite list.  Come to think of it I don’t get out much. Fahk.

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