Are you like me? Do you hate shopping with actual people, in real stores? Rest, my anti-social friend….grab a cup of whatever you drink and join me. I hate shopping. I have been concerned that my woman card would be taken from me over this but so far, so good. I have varying degrees of hate for shopping. My worst nightmare excursion would be Black Friday shopping at the King of Prussia Mall. Online shopping, not so bad.
Buying gifts is tricky business and I lack in the consistency department. I love it when I find what I think is the perfect gift for someone. It’s a great feeling when you know you’ve nailed it. Sadly that doesn’t happen often – most times I’m winging it, hoping the gift is practical or appropriate. One thing I actually enjoy shopping for is gag gifts. This time of year they are “White Elephant” gifts. The price limits vary by event – I’ve noted some of my personal favorites. Sorry for the Amazon links….I’ve accepted that Jeff Bezos is the New World Leader (Prime Member y’all):
The People of Walmart 2018 Calendar – This is tacky perfection that I didn’t know existed…I may have squealed a little when I stumbled on this – https://www.amazon.com/2018-People-Walmart-Boxed-Calendar/dp/1492650013/ref=as_li_ss_il?ie=UTF8&linkCode=li3&tag=whiteelephant03-20&linkId=f110107df92005e72407d997d653f907
Adult Coloring Books – I still don’t know how this crap caught on and yet here we are – coloring books for grownups is a thing. I prefer the ones with naughty words and plenty of snark. These vary in intensity – I’ve selected one of the tamer versions. https://www.amazon.com/Make-Life-Your-Bitch-Motivational/dp/1540633616/ref=sr_1_11?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1511562498&sr=1-11&keywords=adult+coloring+books
Beer Belly Fanny Pack or Belly Pack – This has a bit of an ick factor and really who would actually use this – still it’s funny. https://www.ericdress.com/product/Ericdress-Creative-Beer-Belly-Design-Dad-Waist-Pack-12999109.html?currency=USD&gclid=CjwKCAiAo9_QBRACEiwASknDwW-NNDAcreP8oSD-no0-lLm_wq7-YuEKjVIS4KtiKWupPSp_5byUUxoCZSMQAvD_BwE#5420834&tb_from=paid_adwords_shopping&adword_mt=&adword_ct=93280202675&adword_kw=&adword_pos=1o3&adword_pl=&adword_net=g&adword_tar=&adw_id=7162179455_351227435_24926471315_pla-66403242728
Sarcastic socks – These make me unreasonably happy. The possibilities are endless – If you can read this….Fetch me wine/chocolate/Xanax (I made that last one up) and a plethora of pretty socks with curses on them (why yes I do own several pairs)….sadly this one is sold out. https://www.joyofsocks.com/products/i-hate-everyone-too-socks-womens?utm_medium=cpc&utm_source=googlepla&variant=37611290561&gclid=CjwKCAiAo9_QBRACEiwASknDwTa7No5yNPUF-lvyktQjos9yfkSpkhF-OKXXwOI_RpvwR7_NqFDhPhoCWLUQAvD_BwE
Tipsy Elf – I spent an obscene amount of time looking at their offerings today. Perfect for the ugly sweater holiday party. I like the sweater with Santa’s face which has – “Ask Your Mom If I’m Real” framing Santa’s face. Lots to choose from here if you’re so inclined. https://www.tipsyelves.com/?gclid=CjwKCAiAo9_QBRACEiwASknDwWJcdAFBqCVIi8IJ5Yewv85sOZN1yWHhHVoU147Ny-szfmJEBiBUHhoC6mUQAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds
And bonus – you can buy any of these items online, like God intended. Happy-Whatever-You-Celebrate.