Check It Out

Check It Out

I’m a bit of an @sshole when it comes to bagging my own groceries. I don’t have too many OCD tendencies except for this particular task. I prefer to use my own bags (when I remember them) and I have very specific ideas of what should and shouldn’t be bagged together. These are basically common sense notions except somewhere down the line common sense got his @ss kicked and now he’s afraid to leave the house.

I don’t think I’m too exotic with my grocery bag wishes. Put heavy stuff on the bottom of the bag so the “delicates” (Oreos, chips, the good stuff) don’t get crushed. Keep the cold stuff together (that’s right the warm roasted chicken should not coexist in the same bag as the ice cream). Put more than three things in a bag. I’m one of those “one trip” people. To finish things off, I like to play grocery store Tetris. Basically I get a small cart, load a large carts worth of groceries into it and then see if I can get them back in, good times. I always intend to go in for 4 things and come out with about 37 things, so there’s that.


My bagging preferences have not gone unnoticed by the workers. Just the other day my son and I were checking out with the three things we went in for (plus the additional 34 items we didn’t need). It played out like this –

Cashier: “Do you want a plastic bag for the meat?”

Me: “No thanks.”

4 seconds later….cashier reaches for the plastic bag with her left hand, meat is in the right hand.

Me: “It’s OK, I don’t need a plastic bag for that.”

Cashier continues to place the meat in the plastic bag. At which point I give the WTF is happening here look. She sees the look and continues…

Cashier:”I just think it’s better if the meat is in plastic…you don’t want sausage flavored lasagna.”

Me: “Interesting you should point that out, Susan. I do in fact want sausage favored lasagna.”

The next 2 minutes continued in an awkward exchange of the cashier explaining all the reasons why I should have this bag. I spent the time saying “OK” and fighting the urge to laugh and smack her…I was torn between the urges. I saw the ridiculousness of the situation for what it was and yet I was still pissed at her blatant disregard for my very clear instructions. Basically I went into pick your battles mode and did not escalate the situation. My son and I laughed about it on the way out.

This isn’t the only time I’ve encountered a bagging “situation” at this store. A while back I was checking out in a lane which had an overly aggressive bagger. This woman gets visibly pissed if you want to bag your own groceries. Here’s the tricky part, she has special needs. So I’m an instant @sshole for having any kind of an issue with her. Last year she threw my own tomato at me, I sh*t you not. I know she takes her job very seriously so I am mindful of the words I chose when we we interact. Here’s how it went down –

Me: “Regina, can you pass me that tomato, I want to keep the produce together?”

Regina then threw the tomato in my general direction with an angry scowl on her face.

Me: “Alright, then.”

Regina: “Sorry.”

So now I have one cashier and a bagger that I need to avoid when shopping. Does this happen to anyone else?









24 responses »

  1. 1. I don’t take my own bags.
    2. TLW watches the bagger like a hawk so I don’t have to.
    3. We do meatless lasagna.
    4. Cashiersplaining is now a thing!
    5. I always leave here with something. (Here being your site…mansplaining much!)

    Liked by 2 people

  2. This is hysterical! Great post and so applicable to my life. I too am a obsessive bagger and I’m sure everyone hates me at the food store. But come on, I just paid $175.00 in groceries and I’d like my food treated like a fancy garment, carefully bagged, and gently handed to me from around the counter.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. So funny. At my local store, I had the “snotty” bagger who got mad (shaking his head, swearing under his breath) when I tried to bag my own things, especially if there was a lot. Apparently I was taking his job. I finally started going to another check-out line. The snotty bagger is still there and I always avoid him.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. There is soooo much blogging material from the grocery store. You’ve nailed some issues that I share during this weekly ritual. For me I don’t want each bag to be so heavy I have to flag down two or three body builders to help me transfer them into the car. I have another pet peeve – when the bagger comments on what I’m buying. Even if it is to compliment me on my excellent taste in toilet paper, I don’t want their opinion. Fun post!

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Doesn’t matter if it is 3 or 32 items, I am always going to go to the self check out in order to minimize human contact as much as possible. Store doesn’t have self check? Then they don’t have me there!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I used to get regularly chased by the Walmart greeter, who was in a wheelchair, because I would refuse to let him put a tag on my bag. I can still hear him: “Stop! I have to tag your bag!” I’m not a shoplifter, and you don’t have to treat me like one. They don’t do that anymore, at least in Canada. I’d like to think I’m the reason why.

    Liked by 1 person

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