Last weekend I commented to another mom friend that I am in the “Muber” stage of parenting. I’m not necessarily to the go-to person in my kids lives unless they need a ride, also known as the teenage years. It’s not all terrible, sure the pay still sucks and they trash my car but sometimes I gain some insight.
It’s hard to know what your kids are up to all the time unless you are tracking them like the CIA. We have limits on their phone use, protocols to prevent 24hr access. The goal is to protect them from predators and make sure they don’t stay up all night on Snapchat, freedom with boundaries. They need the space to make decisions, room for mistakes, it’s how we learn.
So when my kids want a ride somewhere, especially if they want me to drive their friends, I give an enthusiastic “YES!” It’s my only chance to observe how they interact in the “wild”. The bits and pieces of conversations I hear between friends in the car gives me some insight into their teen world that I might otherwise miss. So for now, we are in the Muber phase which, will soon transition into Holy-shit-teen-driving-car-insurance-is-expensiveAF phase. Be careful out there.
Exactly :))
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I miss those bits of conversation!! I was really worried about both of my kids starting to drive but is hasn’t turned out so bad. Not crazy about the financial impact, but oh well. LOL at muber!!
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When my friends and I were pre-driving teens one of my friends had The Cool Mom. Maybe every group has one–she was the mom we wanted to drive us places because we could talk and laugh with her.
I started to say I bet you’re The Cool Mom, but maybe it’s better if you aren’t. You might hear things they’d keep from you if they were trying to impress you.
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I’m definitely not the cool mom – I am reliable though with a mostly clean driving record (mostly).
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Teen driving wasn’t that stressful for us, both our kids showed no desire to drive until they were 18 and nned/wanted jobs. Now that they are 30 and 33, I have mixed feelings about my Dubering days. (see what I did there?)
I miss them needing me. But, I’m crazy like that.
You’re so good at this blogging stuff.
And thanks for the shout out today.
UP
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Muber & Duber though Duber sounds like a throw back to the 60s.Thanks friend.
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“Carefully supervised neglect”–that’s what my dad calls it. Because we lived in a small town, there wasn’t much need to drive T anywhere, but then when he was going to high school out of town and I had to start working in Toronto, we got him a car. My anxiety level still hasn’t come back down and it’s been 5 years…
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“Carefully supervised neglect” – that sums up so much of parenting. Your dad is brilliant.
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Yep, he’s a pretty good guy!
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My 14yo son doesn’t bring people in the car when I schlep them to their endless activities but omg the tween girl…the chit chat, the giggling, the debates…priceless!
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You can get some good intel during those schleps.
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