Smile & Wave…

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Smile & Wave…

When things get bad I either retreat inward like a turtle hiding in their own shell or bleed all over the floor, on a stage with spotlights and a large audience. It seems I’m not great at middle ground. I use to compare parenting to jumping off a cliff with no knowledge of what you’ll be landing on – could be a pillows, could be razor blades, no one knows. Right now I feel like I am threading a needle in the dark with shaky hands, it’s not a great place to be in.

Most of the monsters I am fighting are not my own. This adds to the frustration and the fear, the unknown is a formidable beast. Throw in vastly different opinions regarding medicine & parenting and you have yourself an unsavory cocktail of emotions and no real path for progress. I’m in a bit of limbo right now, a shitty version of purgatory, not sure which direction we’ll be going in next.

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Anyhow, moving on….I haven’t posted in a while so here’s an update for the curious –

Two weeks ago I got cleared off restrictions from my ACDF surgery. That means I can go back to the gym (YAY!!!!). This made me obscenely happy. Exercise is my primary means of maintaining mental health. Not exercising to the level that I am accustomed was tough during my recovery. I understood the need, I just missed the endorphins and the familiar faces at the gym.

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Speaking of familiar faces…I saw one lady at the grocery store last week and she asked where I’d been. I gave her an update and we chatted pleasantly, told her I’d see her back at the gym. Fast forward to Saturday and the gym parking lot was a hot mess. I had to wait for an open spot because the lot was completely full. I had my blinker on waiting for a car to vacate….then a women rolls up next to me and starts screaming.

Her face was distorted with rage, she was using hand gestures and possibly frothing at the mouth. I responded with a few friendly shrugs, pointing to the spot I was waiting for and a what-can-you-do look on my face. Who was this angry woman….the same lady I chatted with at the grocery store. A few days later I was in the gym parking lot again and she walked past my car – we made eye contact, I smiled and waved enthusiastically, she looked down at the ground and walked to her car. Namaste parking lot lady.

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I went back to work with Rob and Laura after the holidays. For the first couple of weeks I just went out on solo missions to do their shopping. I would also cook them meals and run errands as needed. One day Laura forgot I wasn’t cleared to drive them yet. When I arrived in the morning she had her coat on, ready to go. When I reminded her of the temporary grounding, I got some side eye and a huffy “Fiddlesticks!”

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Fortunately I can drive my friends again.

10 responses »

  1. Fiddlesticks is way underused.
    And, this post is yet another affimation that our cyber-friendship was predestined. Only last night I was fat-shamed (for a post I thought was humorous on the book of face) and it caused my slumber to leave me and worried me no end that I’d upset a lifelong friend. I withdrew after I mopped UP the blood.

    Namaste sistah, namaste.

    So glad you’re back.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Life is always a mixture of the good, bad, and annoying. Glad to hear you are past your medical challenges. That alone is something to celebrate. As far as the other irritations, all you can do is shrug them off. They’re like gnats that disappear quickly.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Soooo angry parking lot woman ignored you?! WTH? It reminds me of that scene is the film Fried Green Tomatos when Kathy Bates is waiting for a parking space and then two stupid, ignorant girls pull in and piss her the hell off. And the best part is when she states she’s older and has more insurance….classic! lol

    As for Rob and Laura, their fiddlesticks are warranted, they’ve depended on you for so much the last year and I’m sure the frustration was only temporary. I’m so glad to hear your recovery is going better than you expected my friend. More power to you!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I’m just waiting for the same go-ahead after dislocating a rib (Who does that?!) and understand your eagerness to get going again.
    What I don’t understand is people. Why the anger? Why the rudeness? Life’s too short, Parking Lot Lady. Move on.
    And I like fiddlesticks! I also like Fiddle-dee-dee. Either is good! 😉

    Liked by 1 person

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